Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Homemaking journal or Am I a Dork?

Ok so I love to read things with two titles. It gives me a sense of pride to make a decision about the article that hasn't already been made. So here is my post with two titles.

I am on a mission to get my house organized. It will take a little cash and creativity but I can get this done. When my home is in disrepair and unorganized, my mind feels the same way. I have had enough. I want to start by making a book so that way everyone that can read will know how my house is ran. I am a control freak too by the way....lol. I am thinking of a homemaking journal. I have read lots of post about them already and I know that each one is unique. I continue thinking about this and realize I have about 20 of them around here. All in different places in different ways. I managed to clutter my organization and 20 is a stretch but it feels that way.
here are the ideas:
1. Calendar (for a whole year)
        -Birthdays, bills, events, appointments.
2. Cleaning schedule (this may be far fetched but I am hoping it gets me motivated to keep this place clean. No more rushing around when unexpected company comes. If I am away or have a baby, the family will know what i do each day)
  -daily and weekly
3. Food
  -Weekly Menu's with fave dishes behind that
  -Restaurant menu and coupons
  - Master grocery list
4. Important phone numbers
5 Babysitter helps and guides
6. Birthdays
   -Names by month with ideas for each person
7. Christmas list

so does any of you do this and do you have ideas to add. Or am I crazy and just a nerd? Don't answer that last one for another week or so....=)

Monday, October 18, 2010

being Beautiful

Today is a lousy feeling day even though it beautiful outside. I feel this way in part on my hormones trying to get back to normal and just simply not feeling love for myself. All of today I was looking at anyone and everyone (particularly my husband and my looks) to make me feel beautiful. Let's face it, if you don't feel it on the inside, the outside won't matter much.
I remember something God has told me personally yesterday. He said he understands and still needs me. He wants me to go to my prayer place every time I feel down and sad and ugly. He told my my healing will happen if I do this and believe his words. It is ok to shed my tears because joy comes in the morning.  So after reaching out to the wrong things, I go to my prayer place, which today happens to be my kitchen sink.. The dishes are ceiling scrapers on the counter and the kids need supervision so why not pray hard while doing both. I kept praying for God's encouragement, for a Word or song or anything from him. I cry out "Lord Help! I can't stand the way I feel but can't seem to stop myself!" Just as I said the last word, KLove played "Beautiful" by Mercy Me. I begin to smile, and say "Thank You Lord" in a hushed but grateful voice. "Then My Own World" comes on and I am grinning with all the muscle in my face. Next comes "More Beautiful You" by Jonny Diaz. Now I am dancing along, smiling and praising Jesus in a loud and joyful voice. My son comes in and looks at me, smiles and shakes his head. He has seen my crazy acts before. My little girls join me in the praise of my God, My Savior and Lord. We had a praise service right in the middle of a dirty kitchen. And now....I smile and thank Him. Thank You Father! Thank You and I love you! It is a BEAUTIFUL DAY!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Dear Baby Duncan

Dear Baby in Heaven, I am sorry my body was not a haven for you. Please know that you are truly missed. I haven't known you but a few weeks and already I felt you like you belonged with our family. If you decide this Earth and our family is for you afterall, your tiny body is always welcome back in mine. However, I know this old World isn't the best place to live anymore, so I don't blame you for returning to Heaven. Someday, when I am done here too, I will come meet you at the gate. Please take my hand and lead me to Jesus. For he cares for us better than all.  Love, Your mommy!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

A Special Kind of Mom!

I had a great day. My husband and I hosted Financial Peace this morning. Our class is going well. I sometimes feel that we aren't helping anyone in their journey to peace and then someone comes back with victory story. I also get discouraged because DEBT FREE feels so far away. However looking back, my family has come a long way. We even had our emergency fund 4x and the last time only took us 4 weeks. Thank you Jesus for you blessing. Afterwards, we went to Fall on the Farm at Watkins Mill. I look at all the great things still in existence today. All made from a great entrepreneur and his family, all done with no debt, and I feel relieved. What can we do in a few years with do debt? Dreams are only dreams if you do nothing about them. But the real reasons why I write is the realization that we all come from different lifestyles, we all have dark days that seem like weeks and sometimes months. Then all of a sudden, there is a light and blessings abound that show us God is still in control. I want to tell you a story of a young woman, about my age, whom I met today. Her period of dark time inspired me to marvel in the everyday blessings that are poured upon my family and myself.
It seems that it should be every woman's right to be a mother if they so choose to be. There are some that want a career, some that want only to be a woman in all her glory without children. It seems to me that some of the strongest women are those denied the chance to be a Mom. Her heart longs for that little butterfly in her womb. She wants to raise a great warrior for the family of God and knows that she will guard that little angel with her life. But for some unknown reason, she is denied this opportunity of a miracle. Or so I might think. Is she denied, or are these barren women called for a higher purpose? Are they the select few that will raise a child that is not their own flesh and blood? You see, I don't think adoption is for anyone. I really believe that loving someone else's child as if it were your own is a trait not bestowed upon any woman. This can't be an easy task. There is a longer period of bonding, there is learning their habits that you didn't instill with them, the child doesn't share your blood type, DNA, or even family traits and appearance. However, those select few Mom's and Dads, can still say proudly, "this is my child, whom I love so much," and have no other thought in their mind except what just came from their mouth.
Well, back to my friend. I told her that I really loved coming to these historical reenactments. They are great live action history for my home school children. She explained that she too was home schooled from 3rd grade to graduation. She told me that she had taken college type courses in high school homeschooling but by the time she got to college, her education wasn't recognized because she was home schooled. So she had to endure boring long classes already taken, and even made a bit of spending money tutoring students in her own classes. Finally her teachers let her advance without any more flack. During college she met her husband while volunteering at Watkins Mill. They married on the farm and shortly after wanted to have a child. Well little did she know that trying for her dream baby made her very ill. She could not have her husband's child. She was thrown into early Menopause at 24. Not only could she not have a baby, adoption of a child was out of the question. They had too many debts from college and life.
At this point, I began to tear up. After all, I am now carrying a child that I know was God's timing and will. Here I am pregnant with very little trouble (we totally left this one in God's hands) and I was sitting face to face with a woman that will never be able to have one of her own. I said a prayer to God then and there, thanking him for my children. I also asked him to bless her in some way. My heart broke for her.
She then says to me and my sister in law, "But don't be upset yet, my story goes on." I smile and think this woman is incredible. She said that her husband and her made a decision then and there that they were to be debt free. She and he worked hard but never lost hope of having a child. Their future child may not be there own blood, but it would be their child none the less. They did it too. They became debt free.
At this point someone came along and urged her to visit another doctor in KU medical. She didn't want to go. I don't blame her.  She had been poked and prodded and told numerous times that she would never have a child. After praying and urging, she went to this doctor.  This doctor however, found that she had a rare disease and that with medication, she could actually carry a child. She was going to adopt an embryo. I guess that people who get in-vetro can choose to carry all the embryos they conceive, terminate them, or freeze them for later use. The ones that are frozen can then be adopted out for another women to carry. These babies are then implanted into a host mom. It will be her child and she will get to experience pregnancy, labor and birth. Well this wonderful lady will now be carrying a child come January. I told her that she inspired me and that I will continue to pray for her. I pray that her body doesn't reject that baby. She looked at me and said, "I hope not too, but I can now adopt any child I want. Either way I get a baby!" I was thrilled and amazed at her outlook on life.
So after learning this, I never wish to complain that I can't handle this or that. I don't ever want to take my calling of being a mom for gran it. I hold in high esteem Mothers that have no children of their own. They are much stronger than I.
Sometimes, we go through trials and it seems like there is no end to the battle. Just know that your Heavenly Father is on your side and he has a reason and time for everything. We must learn to trust Him and always praise and worship Him. Thank Jesus everyday for the many blessings we have. If you can't think of one, I can. You are alive, breathing, and you have someone on your side, Jesus!